An E-mail from a Sailor's wife..

This is an article which shows the love of a seafarer’s wife towards his sailor.
Dedicated to those ladies who sail on a different boat altogether. They create a world of their own, not their dad’s princess anymore, but even then that’s what they are still known for. They live hardcore life and they crave for their sailors. They spend countless moments but hide their tears, praying for we sailors, somewhere living in constant fears. They be with us, emotionally, and by all other way they can.
In this article, I have tried to show a sailor’s wife and her emotions with the form of an email that a girl is trying to type for his sailor.

The sailor’s girl is trying to remember his mariner and typing a long mail...



My Sailor boy, I still remember the day I first met you, a nervous young boy of
seventeen. Time tricked us into falling in love with each other and I
ended up marrying you. It seems so surreal at times. The boy I loved
has now become a man. And yes, a man no less than a mariner.
Even back in college days I hated spending a single second without
you. The concept of two of us separated by hundreds of kilometres
killed me every second and I frantically called you like a girl
possessed by love. But now, that you’re even farther away; sailing in
some god forbidden water body;  riding the waves,the insecurity grows.
 The fear of losing you grips me; catches me off guard every other minute.
I have been trying to contact you for over two weeks now. I know; two
weeks isn’t a long time, but still ; I don’t have control over my
heart darling. I have my mind telling me that you’re going to come
back home just after another hundred and thirty six days; but you know
what , I just can’t help but think of you every single second.
The other day I woke up in the middle of the night, trying to call
you; and somehow your phone rang. I just can’t explain my anticipation
and excitement as I sat on my bed, wide awake biting my nails, praying
hard to god that you might call me the very next moment.
I know, it sounds stupid
but your last time ring left me smiling all through last week.
I don’t know how this happens, but you manage to sneak in my dreams
every night without fail. It's like you just don’t escape my line of
thought. EVER..
And that keeps me going. Those two minutes of your soothing voice.
Sometimes, people come around, as if trying to pity over me being the
wife of a sailor. They say it’s sad to be all alone the maximum part
of the year; having to live life all by myself.  But, I am proud of my
existence. Of me being a sailor’s wife.
Life isn’t easy without you here. I still have that bouquet you bought
me the day you left; it is all dried up and tethered but I have
decided to keep it as your memory.
All this bantering and yet, I don’t know how I have kept it from you
for so long. There’s news for you baby. The next time you come home;
there will be a surprise waiting for you. A kick or two from your own
baby.
Yes, My sailor ! I know you’ll be happy like crazy. I’m two months pregnant.
 When you come back I’ll be already having a big bump with our baby
kicking hard inside. Imagine our own child. I just can’t tell how
proud I feel to bear our baby. Tests arrived a day after we talked for
the last time. I’ve been calling you over and over again, just to let
you know. I texted; but such a lazy man you’re you never checked your
mails either.
I think it will be a boy. I’m considering getting a room painted blue
for him. So many things are to be done. I haven’t let anyone know as
of yet. You’re the father. You deserve to be the first one to know.
There’s so much to be done. Getting a doctor’s appointment, getting
vaccinated, baby proofing the house; internet makes pregnancy looks so
tedious. What will I do without you?
It leaves me overwhelmed to think of doing these all by myself. And to
think you don’t even know about it yet. Yes, I terribly miss you; I
don’t really know what I’ll do. Perhaps I’ll give mom a call and call
her over. But when you come back, I want you to be with me and help me
with everything. You’re such a lazy guy when you’re on holidays.
Seriously , I’m kind of freaked out. I wish you’d come over and hug
me once and whisper in my ears that everything will be alright. You’ll
set everything right. I know you’ll, but sometimes, all I need is a
reassurance. Till then, I’ll be a brave girl worthy of my brave man
out there on the sea. My mariner.
And I think it’ll be a boy like you. Don’t you think so ?

DO YOU HAVE COMPLAINTS FROM YOUR LIFE?

This is a test to know whether the aim of your life has been fulfilled or

not.

This is for all those people who know what do they need but they can't get

and then they blame god and their life or destiny.

If you are unhappy, think about the lady whose house has drowned in a flood,

and her little child is nowhere visible.

If you think your salary is less, then what would you say about the little

Child sitting outside a railway station or a metro station begging for

pennies?

If you think you do not have many friends, think about the person who is

lost into an island or take the e.g of the movie "Cast Away" where the

person made a football as his friend. Or take another  e.g  of the movie

"Life Of Pi" where he had a tiger as a friend.

If you ever lose hope, then think about the person who has lost his one

limb in some accident but still living his life.

If you feel you are living your life in too much pain and problems, think

once again. Think about the person on the platform who pulls the trolley

laden with a load 50 times more than his own weight barefooted.

If you think your vehicle is not good, think about the people walking

kilometres away to get a bus from the village.

If you feel your family gives you pain and problems and does not gives you

enough money or facilities, think about the old man or woman who has been

sent into an old age home by their son/daughter as they take them as burden.

Sometimes you are in a restaurant and you look at the menu and think."What

What to eat?"... think about the person who has to think, “WHAT TO EAT?"

Some of you would be complaining why do my parents scold me? Think about

the children who doesn't have parents, they think, “Why don't I have my

Parents to scold me??"

Some of you have so many pairs of shoes that you can't decide which one to

wear, think of the person who puts two different shoes in his legs and he

thinks "What to wear?"

While sleeping, you feel, your bed is so soft and fluffy. Think about the

boy/girl sleeping on the footpath empty stomach, who is compelled to

think... "God I wish my sleep lasts forever rather than sleeping like this"

STILL YOU HAVE COMPLAINTS FROM YOUR LIFE?

Please do not forget the lower class of the society, they are our

responsibilities.

Your life is too good and better than others, stop blaming your destiny.

Remember the Sanskrit lines...”Vasudhaiv Kutumbakam” which means this whole world is a family.

Why always me Lord...?

....BUT WHY ME LORD..???’ How many times have we asked that question? We sometimes feel paranoid, singled out, and the butt of a joke that God himself has perpetuated. Sitting there on his cloud, waving his omnipotent finger at us - mere mortals with endless flaws, too many to consider let alone deal with. Then, randomly throwing lightning bolts into our complex lives, God screws up just about every damned thing we do. If God himself is against us, what hope have we got?
Life can look damned dismal looking from that perspective. In fact, attributing our failures and misguided actions to anything or anyone, including God, is our first mistake. Let me explain...


Isn't it amazing that every time we get a little extra cash in our hand: bonus, tax return, whatever, the very next day a bill arrives. And wouldn't you know it; it’s about the same amount. That little breathing space, that potential reward is torn from our hands, so close yet so far; so why is that?
When you think you struggle with bills, just make ends meet, never have enough for those little luxuries, that’s exactly what happens. You expected it, so that’s what you get. Simple: succinct, truth, reality.
So let’s get back to our question...'Shit happens...but why always me?’ It happens, because that’s what we believe, it’s how we think, and it’s our rotten, stinking attitudes . So who can we blame? Who’s gonna take the wrap for this one? Yep, you got it- we’re to blame, lock, stock and barrel.
You see the answer is simple, but often simplicity escapes our attention. We live such frantic and stressful lives that it’s not easy to gain a broad perspective. Instead we live in a cocoon of security and safety and see little of what’s happening around us. The fact is that ‘how we think and what we think’shapes our lives in extraordinary detail. Our circumstance, our income, our standard of living, friendships, relationships, our entire day-to-day life is a result of our own thinking, one way or another. And this is no esoteric hypothesis , this is a fact that you can easily prove for yourself. Today, I’m going to show you how.
Are your heads starting to spin? There’s a few interesting expressions out there, I'm sure. ‘God, my thinking must really suck!’ ‘There must be someone else I can blame?’ ‘Who the hell is this guy?’
So who am I , you may ask? Who am I that I can simply hand you this seemingly implausible revelation?
Personally I’m an inquisitive person, I like to know how things work, and more importantly I’m open, open to new concepts, to change and I creatively aspire to understand more about this life journey we share.

Ek baat hai usme jo mujhe khichi ja rahi hai... :)

Kuch baat hai usme jo ab tak kisi aur me na tha.. Wo waisi nahi jaisa maine socha tha but kuch toh hai usme ki fir bhi wo mujhe bahot jyada pasand hai ... Wo na hi mujhe ache se manaa pati hai na hi kabhi kabhi wo samajh pati hai ki main  kya chahta hu...

Lekin fir bhi,, Kuch toh hai ki uske liye bilkul bhi alag feelings hain meri... Na koi expectations hai is tarah ki wo har wqt mere samne rahe... Usse baat tak nahi hoti dil bhar k lekin fir bhi uske liye feelings bilkul alag hain... Ab tak jo bhi life me ayi, baat nahi ho pati thi toh mera dil kehta tha ki ab aur baat nahi karni. Lekin aisi kya baat hai usme ki uski har baat manjur hoti hai .. Har shart manjur hoti hai...

Ek baat toh hai usme jo aaj tak kisi me nahi dikhi mujhe... Kisi ne bhi mujhme utna patience nahi daala jitna usne... Ek dard sa chipa hai mere dil k paar.. Us dard ko isne samjha... Kuch toh baat hai isme....

Par fir bhi, baat chahe kuch bhi ho main bas itna janta hu ki wo bilkul bhi alag hai bakiyon se, aur use main kabhi khona nahi chahta... Zindagi gujarne ko dil karta hai uske sath...

N****, You are miles and miles and miles apart,

Although so far you’ve touched my heart,

Your laugh, your voice, your adoring smile,

Seem to shorten each and every mile,

I wake every morning and rest at night,

My thoughts and dreams filled with your sight,

On how I wish, in darkness of light,

I could lay in your arms and you hold me tight . . .

Ghar se dur main khus nahi ...

After I have left my home for my bachelor's , I am not happy, I am not away from my home just because I don't like to be at home.I want to be with my mom but I have to do a lot for her, I have to return her all the care and love what she has given me, and for that I am away from my home for my studies... I am waiting for the day when I will be standing in front of my mom as a responsible son who can take all the responsibilities and tell her mom ..." Mom, it's my turn now, you please take rest, I'm there to look after everything "It's been really difficult for me to live in hostel, without home made food and the love and care of family and missing mom a lot ... So, dedicated to mom... few lines are there...

Neend bahut ati he padte padte
Maa tu hoti to keh dete ki ek cup chai bana de..
Thak gaye h mess ki
roti kha kha k,
Maa tu hoti toh keh dete parate bana de..
Bandh gye h room ki char diwari me,maa tu hoti to kehti jara bahar ghum le, Wohi koshish roj khush rehne ki,
Maa tu hoti to muskura lete.. 

Pareshaniya bohot h yaha tujhe btate to tujhe b rula dete.
Bahut dur nikal aaye h ghar se,
Maa tere sapno ki parwah na hoti toh kabka ghar chale jate,
aaye hai ghar se door,sirf yehi sochkar ki in pareshaniyo k bad maa ko duniya ki har khusi de denge...

Destiny ... Does it really exist?

Aakhir kab tak main khud ko samjhata rahunga. Akhir kab tak main khud ko strong bol kar sab sehta rahu. Why do people come in my life and just vanishes like a black cloud in just few days. I don't want to believe in my so called “janam kundali"(Horoscope). 3-4 yrs back that astrologer saw my horoscope which was made by some astrologer after my birth. Use dekh kar hi us astrologer ne ye kaha tha ki koi bhi  female friend tumhari life me 6 months se jyada nahi tik payegi. And I made a fun of that even if I knew the fact ki usse pehle bhi yahi hota aya tha mere sath.

It started with my sister cum friend _______ .  She was very dear to me and with no reason we parted,she stopped talking to me for no reason and today I have not spoken to her for about 4 yrs.

Then it was the turn of two twin sisters , of my school time , we spoke  very nicely on phone on 08.08.08 and after  I called them up again after few months, there was no reason but they did not want to talk to me anymore.

Its not that it is the case with girls only. It has happened with my male friends too but specially in this blog I m talking about the kundali thing in which it is clearly mentioned that no girl can stay in my life ever.

Then I was in love and may be a true one. Today If I m studying in a world level premiere institute, I give most of the credit to her . There was no chance that we could even think of parting.I told her the thing about my kundali and she said I need not to believe that at all , and that wont happen with two of us and she is not going to let that happen promising me. Our families knew each other and there was no negative point at all. But, Destiny again had to play its role as usual, we parted for no reason, and again I was left with only one question in my mind , “ Up till when I m going to face that single line of my kundali ?"

I tried to move on after  2 yrs around, In my life, there came one another female friend, may be I was in need of someone. That girl knew everything about my past love and the first love rather. She promised me that if I be with her, she wont ever let that kind of incident repeat and I trusted her but again the kundali or my destiny played its role and this time everything ended in such a way that even girls will start hating girls if they come to know about the incident.

After this also many friends came into my life who initially said that they do like me like anything. My trueness, my nature, my way of talking, my clean heart , and what not. But If they really do so, what is the thing in me that is making people to part with me . I don’t say that I am perfect , it may be possible that there is SOMETHING that is making people to part with me after few days. I want to know that thing. But who will tell me that. I tried a lot , but could not get that myself .

I lost trust totally from girls but still I do trust them just if they are little bit good to me initially. But finally everything repeats and the destiny plays its role. I never had this much of trust in destiny sort of thing but now i am forced to believe in that.

I don’t know if there is a very big problem in myself which is making every person coming into my life to hate me or part with me just after few days . What am I searching for ? Who am I searching for ? Am I not going to get some person who can prove that destiny doesn’t matters. I just don’t know what is this going through in my life presently. Do I really need someone that’s why I am believing and trusting and getting closer to every person who is good to me for just few moments? Can somebody tell me what’s this all going through my life ? I can’t take it more and after 3-4 years finally I m putting this blog to get the view of people. I can’t help myself now anymore , I m not that strong , Just cant be ......

When She Left Me Alone...

Things tends to happen in life when you least expect them. My girlfriend breaking up with me was one of those things. She told me that she didn't feel "that way" for me anymore. At first, I couldn't understand it. How can someone just stop loving you from one day to the next?

I was heartbroken and confused, but I was determined not to let three years of my life with this girl go up in "smoke". I made up my mind that I would get her back. I sent flowers and told her things would be different if she would just give me a second chance, but I couldn't get through to her.

The harder I tried, the worse things became. I felt like I was running into a brick wall. Everything I did caused her to become more and more distant. I was a fool in love, and I knew it, but I just couldn't help it.

Out of desperation I joined some break up forum and started ranting off about my story. Suddenly, I had all sorts of people telling me what to do, but their advice was simply dead wrong. I didn't want to forget her; I wanted to get her back.

Don't get me wrong, I was grateful to everyone for taking the time to lend a helping hand, but I just didn't want to hear what they were telling me. Eventually they got tired of my "whining" and moved on to help others.