Ghar se dur main khus nahi ...

After I have left my home for my bachelor's , I am not happy, I am not away from my home just because I don't like to be at home.I want to be with my mom but I have to do a lot for her, I have to return her all the care and love what she has given me, and for that I am away from my home for my studies... I am waiting for the day when I will be standing in front of my mom as a responsible son who can take all the responsibilities and tell her mom ..." Mom, it's my turn now, you please take rest, I'm there to look after everything "It's been really difficult for me to live in hostel, without home made food and the love and care of family and missing mom a lot ... So, dedicated to mom... few lines are there...

Neend bahut ati he padte padte
Maa tu hoti to keh dete ki ek cup chai bana de..
Thak gaye h mess ki
roti kha kha k,
Maa tu hoti toh keh dete parate bana de..
Bandh gye h room ki char diwari me,maa tu hoti to kehti jara bahar ghum le, Wohi koshish roj khush rehne ki,
Maa tu hoti to muskura lete.. 

Pareshaniya bohot h yaha tujhe btate to tujhe b rula dete.
Bahut dur nikal aaye h ghar se,
Maa tere sapno ki parwah na hoti toh kabka ghar chale jate,
aaye hai ghar se door,sirf yehi sochkar ki in pareshaniyo k bad maa ko duniya ki har khusi de denge...

Destiny ... Does it really exist?

Aakhir kab tak main khud ko samjhata rahunga. Akhir kab tak main khud ko strong bol kar sab sehta rahu. Why do people come in my life and just vanishes like a black cloud in just few days. I don't want to believe in my so called “janam kundali"(Horoscope). 3-4 yrs back that astrologer saw my horoscope which was made by some astrologer after my birth. Use dekh kar hi us astrologer ne ye kaha tha ki koi bhi  female friend tumhari life me 6 months se jyada nahi tik payegi. And I made a fun of that even if I knew the fact ki usse pehle bhi yahi hota aya tha mere sath.

It started with my sister cum friend _______ .  She was very dear to me and with no reason we parted,she stopped talking to me for no reason and today I have not spoken to her for about 4 yrs.

Then it was the turn of two twin sisters , of my school time , we spoke  very nicely on phone on 08.08.08 and after  I called them up again after few months, there was no reason but they did not want to talk to me anymore.

Its not that it is the case with girls only. It has happened with my male friends too but specially in this blog I m talking about the kundali thing in which it is clearly mentioned that no girl can stay in my life ever.

Then I was in love and may be a true one. Today If I m studying in a world level premiere institute, I give most of the credit to her . There was no chance that we could even think of parting.I told her the thing about my kundali and she said I need not to believe that at all , and that wont happen with two of us and she is not going to let that happen promising me. Our families knew each other and there was no negative point at all. But, Destiny again had to play its role as usual, we parted for no reason, and again I was left with only one question in my mind , “ Up till when I m going to face that single line of my kundali ?"

I tried to move on after  2 yrs around, In my life, there came one another female friend, may be I was in need of someone. That girl knew everything about my past love and the first love rather. She promised me that if I be with her, she wont ever let that kind of incident repeat and I trusted her but again the kundali or my destiny played its role and this time everything ended in such a way that even girls will start hating girls if they come to know about the incident.

After this also many friends came into my life who initially said that they do like me like anything. My trueness, my nature, my way of talking, my clean heart , and what not. But If they really do so, what is the thing in me that is making people to part with me . I don’t say that I am perfect , it may be possible that there is SOMETHING that is making people to part with me after few days. I want to know that thing. But who will tell me that. I tried a lot , but could not get that myself .

I lost trust totally from girls but still I do trust them just if they are little bit good to me initially. But finally everything repeats and the destiny plays its role. I never had this much of trust in destiny sort of thing but now i am forced to believe in that.

I don’t know if there is a very big problem in myself which is making every person coming into my life to hate me or part with me just after few days . What am I searching for ? Who am I searching for ? Am I not going to get some person who can prove that destiny doesn’t matters. I just don’t know what is this going through in my life presently. Do I really need someone that’s why I am believing and trusting and getting closer to every person who is good to me for just few moments? Can somebody tell me what’s this all going through my life ? I can’t take it more and after 3-4 years finally I m putting this blog to get the view of people. I can’t help myself now anymore , I m not that strong , Just cant be ......

When She Left Me Alone...

Things tends to happen in life when you least expect them. My girlfriend breaking up with me was one of those things. She told me that she didn't feel "that way" for me anymore. At first, I couldn't understand it. How can someone just stop loving you from one day to the next?

I was heartbroken and confused, but I was determined not to let three years of my life with this girl go up in "smoke". I made up my mind that I would get her back. I sent flowers and told her things would be different if she would just give me a second chance, but I couldn't get through to her.

The harder I tried, the worse things became. I felt like I was running into a brick wall. Everything I did caused her to become more and more distant. I was a fool in love, and I knew it, but I just couldn't help it.

Out of desperation I joined some break up forum and started ranting off about my story. Suddenly, I had all sorts of people telling me what to do, but their advice was simply dead wrong. I didn't want to forget her; I wanted to get her back.

Don't get me wrong, I was grateful to everyone for taking the time to lend a helping hand, but I just didn't want to hear what they were telling me. Eventually they got tired of my "whining" and moved on to help others.